the torch

Who do i think i am What was i thinking What kind of person What kind of heartless lemming Brings a child into this world

Was it not enough That history wrote over our story with a privileged white hand Was it not enough The day the towers fell Was it not enough Our voices being silenced By way of fear, By way of bullet, By way of thrusting by a dumpster, By way of consumer distractions, By way of being born different.

Did i not see the red flags When reality tv stars became presidential candidates When sex tapes became the currency for fame Our farms were replaced by processed food When it became more convenient for us to waste Than to give Did i not see the red flags When they were trying to sell us an abundance problem ‘A lack of’ problem ‘There’s just not enough’ problem When the problem all along was distribution Did i not see the red flags When it became more profitable for them to keep us sick Then it was to actually cure us More profitable to give us pills to sedate us Then providing the tools to heal us When it’s easier to attain a gun Than a driver’s license Did i not see the red flags As cruelty swept humankind with genocide and slavery. Did i not see the red flags When we enslaved ourselves by the computers in our hands.

Who do i think i am Bringing children into this pitiful hate-filled power-hungry narcissistic greedy world.

I wonder if we had the chance to do it all over again Start over from the first atom If civilization would be different

Like what if the filipinos had the dominant voice Would it be different? Would they show more compassion, more dignity You know, heal the world with karaoke songs, feed the people with rice dried on the side of the road Adobo grown in their own backyard Lumpia hand made

...We’d probably still find a way to fuck it up

Is that human nature though? Are we just a series of bad decisions? A victim to our trauma? A result of everything that sets us apart? Ran by the injustices of just existing?

I hope not.

I delivered two little humans into this life. What kind of mother would put her children in harm’s way? They say becoming a parent is one of the most selfless things you can do. I think it might be one of the most selfish. They didn’t ask to be here. And yet i am asking them to inherit the burden of this troubled world. I am asking them to take the baton. I am asking them to rise toward the glare. Asking them to carry the flame, Be the light, Bear the torch that was given to me.

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