saw dust storm

mulling over breakfast pizza
taking in a life already lived
a life yet to be lived
red rooster serenades my naked ear
saw dust on the ground
saw dust in this head
but just when i close my eyes


somewhere in the west village
some many years ago



today la is gray skies
holding on to me like a blankie
in an upstate house
but no snow here
nope, just holding hands with green



i just wanted to talk to you
like we did that one time
when i was on the couch
and you were in the car
when i lost my keys and you let me in
when you lost your way and i came to get you
when we were in the middle of it all



we are
i know
in the middle
always in the middle
exactly where we should be




mulling over breakfast pizza
holding hands with green
listening with this naked ear and clicking jaw
under gray la skies
with my eyes open

... maybe this time

this little space is my little secret

it feels fresh

new

but not at the same time

like eating brownies and milk

i had some last night

it was fresh

new

doughy and dense

but it brought me right back

to those little girl dreams

before

when i could do anything

be anything

dream

those days where the days ran on to the next

all wrapped up in a beautiful ribbon

a present

for me

everyday

that little girl

who wasn't bothered by those 'don'ts'

that 'you're never gonna be enough'

cheers to filling cups again

this time like before

this time like never before

let's laugh till drool drips out our noses

radiate like that sun shining on that little girl

give like brownies and milk

squeeze a great big warm hug

until our toes twinkle with delight

and we have no choice but to cut a rug

and sing

out loud

just like that little girl

exactly like that uninterrupted little girl and her dreams

finding me

to begin.
to begin we must always acknowledge where we've been.
so here's to the past.
the passing.

chapter

when you let it all go
those years of bleached summers
rainy mondays painted pink and purple
stumbling down the road drenched in red red wine
singing in turqouise
waking up the house with ballooned condoms
assymetrical cuts
getting down with the best of 'em
shaking a tail in living rooms
sweeping it all up
broom broom

vroom vroom
in the bathroom
sometimes making love
sometimes
crying
sometimes shaving

shaving off yesterday
letting it all go
to the bone
to really see
really
see

be

naked



i never knew about that little scar on the back of my head
where hair doesn't grow
gonna ask my mom and dad about that one


i feel a little lighter
a little taller
a little buzzed



sometimes you gotta let go
to let it grow again


i miss you already.
i've been missing you.

children of the night

tonight i did a poetry workshop with my brother.


it was intense.
it was amazing.


... and at the end each kid thanked me, hugged me.

i hugged back.


and said thank YOU.



it ain't a contest.
it's never a contest.



but i was just grateful to be there tonight.
and was honored.
that they let
me
in.




it was kinda funny.
the rules....
nothing personal..
don't share anything personal..
segway segway segway if they bring up anthing personal..


but of course,
this is poetry.
what else is there than getting personal.
and boy did they ever.
challenged me.
to dig more.
be more.

live more.


because i can.
and so can they.

as they did.




as they do.




no excuses.

live it.
breathe it.
change.



it's an incredible thing to witness.




childrenofthenight.org

long me

it turns out i've forgotten how
to love and write
to cry and miss
to long for something so long it hurts
to fuck up my skirt

to remember to fall a bit in order to fly
i want to remember
those forever days
those then days
those once upon a time

i want to dive into new days
with fists and fury
new feet and wings
sing
a lot

so point me now fingers
point as you've done in the past
point to those better days
point to something to hold for awhile