christmas eve

having conversations with yesterday
a new day
just by the merest fact of yesterday being this day

and sometimes i'm dissapointed
i'm fucking angry
with all this new
trying on all these new shades of blue
the sky looked so pretty today
and i wore this hue a little differently

reality chips away at these aching eyelids
and pound pound goes this heart
come sit next to me
so i can thank you
thank you for the anger
thank you for the love
for all the shit
and the hits that now mark me
like tattoed incisions across my body
this vessel called arianna
just skin bones and fat
missing ear and all
all that built me
all that i am

and i will stand
to hug
to write
to wish you the merriest of everyday
even when the days may be painted slate blue
fucked and foggy
unclear and painful
open arms
open arms
come hold me awhile
i promise
i'll hold you back

elephant clouds

and on these days
one at a time
counting blessings as i go
say hello

on rocketships to the moon
i wave at elephant clouds
stop for a moment to twist and shout with you
and then ease right back on that sky trail
say goodbye to the numeric dates that bound us
on these days one at a time
counting blessings as i go
say hello

to my rocket
gonna rocket

got my best sneaks on
gonna kick all these boogie monsters
right in the face and take my little place
peel off this mask
and float out of space
got my best sneaks on
gonna kick

always had this dream
that smiling was okay
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
when you're sad and you know it just dance

got this dream about growing up
and being exactly what i always wanted to be
the pilot to my very own rocket
a smiling robot with all the gadgets to live dreams

got my best sneaks on
gonna kick all these boogie monsters
right in the face and take my little place
peel off this mask
and float out of space
got my best sneaks on
gonna kick

she pissed her pants!

i'm taking a break from the zine
just for a moment

i just want to say
well
fuck
i love my life


i love my family
so much

it's a fairytale kind of christmas

hardwood floors are canvases too

i got this crazy maybe
swinging it's kicks at the edge of my palm
23 always

all that can be done
will be done
meanwhile
we'll just keep
enter dancing