breakfast anyway

i miss you.

kinda like when i want to smoke a cigarette
and i'm looking for my lighter
and i can't find it
but its ok, because some random has a light
and that random turns out to have a name
and a whole life
and before i know it, we are sharing spontaneous space with each other
but i still wish i had my lighter
its like... i didn't need the light
the light will always be there
i just missed that one light

i miss you.

kinda like how i imagine words might miss me
people use them everyday
it helps the world turn,
they are the cause of war, economic downfalls, political rises
without words, we all might be a little lost
imagine... no street signs
no point of reference to our destinations
and even after i pass, i'm not so naive to think words won't go on
but i'd like to think poems, some poems, prefer me to write them

i miss you.

like my morning coffee misses sugar
these days i opt to hold off
because i can bear the bitterness of my cup of joe
if you can stand it, hell so can i

i miss you.

like an old song that comes on...
could have gone many more days and months without it
but when it plays i remember
damn, i really do love this tune

i miss you.

so much that i can't dare open some things that are just a few clicks away

i miss you.

like la autumn days miss the real kisses of the sun


i miss you.

like a hopeless romantic would miss longing

i miss you.

like life would miss the human soul
the heart misses one single beat
the stars would miss this little earth

i miss you.

like rain would miss my toes dancing



everything goes on
its true
this too shall pass

i know
this is no cry for anything i lack
because i do have light
and words, and coffee, and songs,
autumn days and suns
romance and a human soul
heart beats and stars
dancing toes in the rain

i take care of myself like that
try to honor myself even in storms
all these days without you

don't need anything
a picture of you usually does me just fine
that bittersweet forever face taking his time

its just that
i was driving down the 5 south with the brother bears in tow
and as i surrendered to all the red hearts leading the way
my mind went a'wonderin
there seemed no escaping those wire- rimmed glasses
eyelashes pointing towards me
and these two scars sitting atop a smile
so instead of searching for a way out
i found a way in and i let my thoughts settle for awhile

i guess that's it
me
the hopeless romantic longing
i can take it
its the truth
nothing good every came from dishonesty

so, for the record, there goes it

i miss you.

like butter misses the hot pan

lovegiving

oh you wild hearts... there are so many ways this life could go...
i am humbled my path ran into yours.
you are life changing.
i mean, you have changed my life.


thank you.


you make me wanna be better.
strive to feel deeper, hope higher, faith stronger, love fuller.
you keep me brave.

-----------------------------

i wanted to save every word written in response.
but i already have saved them.
the written ones, the spoken, and the silent.
makes my knees weak. and strong. at the same time.
as i get older i'm beginning to realize that that is what love is.
it's everything.
if you want it to be.


affirmation.


i do.
i really want it to be.


happy thanksgiving.
to all my peeps near and far, distant and resting, alive and pulsing.
this one's for us.
this love is ours.

heavy moon

where to live now
now that i know
i know too much
much of nothing
nothing is heavier than i expected
but no expectations is this girl
a girl in a world of liberty
liberated days countdown
down and counting from knees of torment
fuck torment and its stubborn ways
only one way from this empty mass
massively mistook you for someone else


shut me down
shut me down
don't ever sing that song to me again

putting on the seatbelt

its a true story, i really should be sleeping
got work in the morning, such the fortunate one
blessed with these mammoth friends
epic family
monumental love
such a lucky girl i am

been in the process, i know
of some major change
coming up on a year of liberation
i must have learned something

its gonna take that much more courage
that much up pep in this heart to survive this threshold
the honesty card is the wild card
and fuck, it hurts
it hurts the best
it loves the worst

living this life in the way that i choose to
in happiness, in light, in the full spectrum of the pendulum
what a taxing existence
at this point what do i do?

i am reminded of mount fuji
falling to my knees and weeping because i hadn't met my destination
in the time that we were instructed
start the hike at midnight, arrive at the top by sunrise
well that sun came a-creeping out to check out the sky's blue jeans
and i was no where near the top
i was so disheartened

but then i was told to turn around
through the night i had managed to walk above the clouds
more tears ensued, tears of great triumph
of awe
that these two little feet got that far

what was a girl to do?
pussy out and go back
or continue despite the lack of food and water
sleep and proper attire??
and so she kept trekking

i know that girl
we be cut from the same cloth
just gotta find her and let her know
she can do it
she is inspiration



don't be a mess, ar
don't you be a fucking mess
get up and scream at the moon
get up and grab november by the horns
get the fuck up and BE the reason to live
to really live
don't be an asshole
don't be a pussy
make it happen cap'ain

here's how it works
we have this one life
just this one
and any day
any given day it can all be gone
so count 'em up
all them blessings
drink the kool-aid of the free and heart beating
the dreamers who dream with their eyes open
the hopers that have retired hope because they are IT


november
i am your humble passenger
bring me home

black widows

i wanted to get some work done
but all that is happening is my brain making little molecules of snow flakes
and my mind running a muck making bad decisions
its ok i tell myself
tomorrow is another day
a new choice
a new way
always a new way

red flag sing

skin and bones enter a new realm
where the walls sweat overwhelmed
we tear each other's faces off
leaving the masquerade under a smoker's cough
in gardened porches off of union
we recreate clovers in spliffs,
paint red flags crimson
october brought 3/4s of this man
found my body in a sudden new land
november got us counting quarters racking up parking fines
parallel lines
and i keep trying to find a reason not to
getting caught up in this blanket made of you
damaged ears- the pain, the agony
feels like a perpetual kick in the chest
but listen you up montana, lay your head on this here chest
chuck it to some karma, only good things to come
trust- i've already lived this one, didn't you get the memo
been holding down this weight for 29 years or so
screaming so loud, i've lost my voice
then realized, torment is just a choice
you and me, we were brought together to quite the noise
take it all in and really listen
give each other a chance to slow it all down
and really glisten
we deserve the heal
we be each other's company for this meal
so let's cook and share some loud smiles
hold each other's hands for awhile
your wounds i'll kiss
hug me around the hips
let's dive, make this world a little better
if not for forever,
for this momentary bliss
find a reason to matter
hold on to the splendor
wish on those double rainbows
meanwhile, may this army of 2 conquer these insatiable woes
of a life really lived, a pendulum in full swing
let's sing
feel the sublime of the up and up
swallow the low of the lowest down
just don't drown
to yourself, promise to be kind
this world needs you to shine