just praying

and so i kneel
between everything new and familiar
something of magic
guitar strings
and vocal sings
something from another island
just over the sea
never been there myself
but someday
someday
so far
coming so quickly

appraoch me closer
swim and don't drown please
stay above the mediocrity
or even below it
but get the fuck out of all the cool
for all of our sakes

sing out loud
like the snobby english
the bittersweet lovely english

cryptic horse shit

so now i see you on my tv
and i wish there was no screen
so you could really feel the spit
in your eye to smear your make up
because you haven't made up for the lie
you turned away from me so sudden
fuck off
fucked me
sucked in
blew out
fly away little lies
float me some truth
life without you is better
life fake in an electric box

you disgust me kid
want to vomit at your hair
wasted time
wasted kiss
stupid me
stupid your lines
so fake fake electric box
fake fake kiss and miss
get out you fuck
wash my hands
clear the slate
clean it up
clean it up

the mirror was fogged
dirty and all wrong

and just on the other side i found me
on the other side
sewn up and dusting you off
and embracing him
mascara dart toward him

i just miss you

... i've been very quiet lately
and i'm sorry


been living out loud with some familiar blood
and it's been nice
how like attracts like
how love begets love


i'm looking forward to today
and i can just tell already
that it's an important one


i got all these prayers between my palms
and i'm dropping them
watching them manifest
and i wanted to take you
just for a minute or two
to come watch them with me
all these little prayers
dropping
finding their way in cracks
deep
only to effortlessly grow right back up toward me
like being in the middle of smiles
a garden of them


yeah
it's nice
best garden i've ever seen


won't you come soon to visit me
please
because there you are
one of my prayers
so quiet

been so quiet lately
i'm sorry

all in a sea salt rinse

i wonder if toxants are released through tears


i've been detoxing lately
a little drink i mixed up
a little life i shook up
made some new decisions
like the decision that maybe i do deserve everything i ever wanted
i've been accepting cheese on a cheese platter
i've been eating it
and it taste damn good


went on a drive with consequence
to pick up a consequence of my past
of my present
of my future

and i'm grateful
it's good, you know
life
is
good
if you want it to be
if you really wanted to see it the way you always hoped


poof
and every once and awhile i get depleted
and scared
like i'm not doing enough
i'm trying to show up for you


but i'm detoxing
and i'm sick
and i'm hoping
to hope