HELLO LA

part of me remembers ny
sure it was hard
the weather
the trekking
the flights of stairs
humidity and freeze
overcrowded subways
lonely streets full of people
crazy taxis
horrible service
but shiiiit
at least i was me
at least i didn't have a car note
insurance
speeding tickets


i need a new job
in la
cause that's where i live now
and my body is tired of graveyards in long beach
and to be honest
so is my soul


got any leads lovelies?

<3

just fine

no stranger to the man that leaves
days and months at a time
always got through it just fine
ain't my style to weep
usually just a smile
a kiss
would suffice
for the absence around my hips
the lack of you on my lips

but this go around has surprised me
kinda got me up in a twist
how much i really do miss
all our chats over coffee
hand in hand, you inside me

no big deal
there i go again
feeling
reeling
dealing myself heartache
what a silly break of a girl
when she finds, without her love
it's a lonely world

no stranger to the man that leaves
always got through it just fine
even this time

finders keepers

nine years and it's like it never happened
three months broght a new world
save your tongue for another lip
pause those eyes to the one in front of you


then with your body make love
with your hands build a life
suck in the pain
exhale the pleasure
hold on to this new treasure

played out

for a moment
i felt like
the prettiest in the world
leaving lovely nothings on his eyelashes
strapping my body
around his
close and accesible
beautiful and perfect
like that perfect guitar
when it fit just right
and everything sounded brilliant
every strum
every chord
in its place
in our bed
so sweet
you sleep
i weep
your eyelashes
they don't recognize me anymore
that was just a pretty moment
a lovely memory stored
my tragic reverie
that tired melody

eat me

i'm counting on the chub from my fingers
the extra weight around my waist to weigh me down
take this fat head and thick eyelids
give this dimpled skin some sleep
when does cellulite rest when it is so hungry for affection

maybe that oversized sweater
or that baby girl dress
or some sweats
and an "i'm just chilling" outfit day will fix it
hide all the insecurities lurking behind fatty tissue
perhaps another potato chip will crunch away the pain
finally make me feel like i belong

something pretty
something fit
like all those celebrities in those trashy magazines
like all those silver screen starlets i'll never be

please stop.

hurting my feelings.

nothing's gonna change my world

i'm not going to forget my blessings
no not this time around
i'm gonna remember who i am
the faces who made me
the hearts that broke me
i'm gonna recall the arms that held me when i couldn't walk
the voices that kept me company when i couldn't talk
no i'm not going to forget my blessings
not this time around