you. again. one last time.

my body rocked. alone it did.
my eyes were locked. no qualms i have.
to stand alone and take you in.
to stand and rock in this skin.
i'm that fool in the crowd.
look at you, i'm kind of proud.
returning and returning for one more round.
reminded and reminded by those thumping sounds.
i am a visitor.
no qualms i have.
to stand alone and take you in.
to stand and rock in this skin.
and your girl, so sweet.
and her hair, so familiar.
just chasing color off my head.
wish i could have been her instead.
but who am i to go crazy about it.
you end yours. i end mine. we end ours.
and beautiful it is.
and beautiful the days.
putting on our oxygen masks.
what a tangled task.
to be young and in love. to be in love.
blessed.
it hurts mikey.
so it goes. the heart beats faster.
i get a little sad when i'm around you.
i get a little sad when i'm not.
but so it goes. here we are again.
feeling awfully empty without you on my skin.
feet cold.
remembering the tales you told.
visitors in each other's night.
all my 'if only' wrapped up in a hug so tight.
and as we departed my body rocked.
off balance you threw me my eyes locked.
on you in my mind but no qualms i've got.
to drive without you and take you in.
to drive away and leave you to do your thing.
and as a lady does i say have a good tour and i smile.
i really hope so is what you say in reply.
i give you a twinkled eye in lieu of my cry.
you let go of our hug as people walk by.
gotta hide.
i climb into my car and accept the defeat.
cause i got this feeling you were just being kind when you said you'd come back to sit on my feet.
when you said you wanted me.
when you said you fell for me.
when you said you wanted to kiss.
when you said you wanted this.
when you said you wanted to drink me.
when you said it was better than being drunk.
when you said don't leave.
when i said i didn't want to interupt you.
when i said i wasn't trying to step all up in your shit.
when you said please step all into my life.
when you said you wanted to cry with me.
but you're not.
or maybe it never really counted because they were all texts.
or maybe it just sounded like the right thing to say.
or maybe i just siked myself out in a major way.
or maybe i just write too much.
give a little more than i should.
or maybe you always knew you could never give that. never that.
or maybe 'maybe' is just a fucked up way to convince myself of possibility.
because maybe you were never really that into me.
i don't know.
that's your line.
that's why i never knew.
i'm just an idiot.
always believing.
always giving my all.
feelings are over rated.
i'm throwing mine away.
all of them.
so i'll take it in and let it out. a toast to our crash. you were good company for this creep.
but i'm not wanted here.
my body rocks a tear.
my heart locks again.
'if only' never to begin.
blessed to take your picture.