where smiles are born

today was a work day
ran some errands
spent some fam bam time
got my rewrite done

i also received a letter from state prison
casper oh casper
and so it is
you are again behind those bars
that has held a few of our friends now

i've never been big on writing letters to people in the joint
talk to them on the phone hours on end when they could get one that was smuggled up someone's ass-- yes
visit her any chance i got while i was in town and every weekend when i moved back to california-- yes
but i never wrote them back
so for that, i apologize
to nicole
to eric
to audrey

i'm sorry i was a bad friend, because now that you're out (at least 2 of the 3) i see that that woulda been a real nice thing for me to do

so i think now i've learned my lesson with that


i pour my heart out
sounds cliche, i know
but my heart gets poured every time i sit down to write
even when i'm just writing an address
it's weird like that for me
so today
in the corner while in the midst of fam bam time
i wrote
my heart


the ladies were talking the other day about this sudden courage that people get these days
the detachment of internet writing
in truth, probably all writing, letters, texts, blogs, updates, comments, reviews, hell even laws
the detachment process, the courage mustered up when one is alone with their own thoughts
and now has the ability to publicize them
and how hurtful it can be at times
got me thinking...
on that same note, how beautiful it can really be
that detachment from society
from how people should be or should say or should react
but when they really get in touch with how they really feel
and if they are so lucky, give themselves a chance to explore that
and document it
i don't know
i find it to be a bit of magic

so those letters i never responded to
i can't go back and fix now
but i guess this is my little attempt to capture a little piece of magic
of hope
for better days
for brighter days
because i may not have always responded
every word i received put a little smile on my face
like magic