july documented anyway

my camera has gone missing and i am so upset
i have been keeping a photo tally of this year by way of monthly albums
it has been an amazing process for me and an awesome way to keep track of change
and now the july month has gone missing
so upsetting

but it is times like these that i have to remind myself that it is just a camera
and although there are treasured memories that were captured in that little device
it really could be worse
could have been my poetry books that i have kept since my youth
could have been my video cassettes and photo albums that my mom saves and cherishes
could have been the 7 year void i endured
could have been a 12 year hell i lived
could have been my car or my computer
my body or my virtue compromised
could have been the loss of a family member or friend
i could be homeless and starving
suffering from some sort of terminal disease
my soul bleeding
my heart wrenching
my skin stretching and itching with hives
could be deaf all together
could be forgotten

yeah, guess i just gotta breathe through this one
and hope for the best
have faith that everything happens for a reason
maybe it isn't lost, it's just some where waiting for me, wondering where i'm at
maybe it was stolen as a gift for a little girl who can't afford a digital camera
maybe someone is looking at the pictures right now and feels the love in the images
and it makes them want to give it back, turn it in and do the right thing
who knows
what i do know is that a misplaced camera does not replace the mental pictures kept forever in this heart
what i do know is that i will continue to document
be it words, video, or pictures
i share those photographs anyway, maybe the person who found it needed them more than my internet community

i know, i know, i'm awfully sentimental about things like this
i don't know how else to be
this is the only way i can find peace with the feeling of violation when something important to me goes wrong
gives me a little perspective
so i will let it go
bless it well
and move forward to a new day
because i am lucky to have a new day at all
a small price to pay for a missing camera
a very small price