change for a dollar

always is a long time
so for everytime i say always
i really mean 25 years- and change

i always imagined we'd get married
live in a house
have mind blowing sex day in
day out
breakfast late night
dinner early morning

always imagined you entering me on a sidewalk
all drunk like
off of words
off of staring each other in the eye

i always imagined our children
so imperfect and cute
snuggle till they sleep
kiss their dreams

i'll scream when the sun rises
wake up the house
make love in a canopy
while the coffee is still brewing

i always imagined my toes dancing
so very close to yours

camping
you smacking my bug bites
us in the rain in a fight


always imagined they'd be proud of me one day
always thought they wanted to protect me in a way
but they never really did
and when i say never, i suppose i mean 25 years- and change

i always suspected i'd be some sort of artist
live amongst the workers
be amongst the humble
i always believed i heard things in halves
but always the better half
even if it was awfully sad

i'm always the first to get bit
to trip
to hurt
to fight
to speak
to shut the fuck up
stand in a corner with a dunce hat on when no one told me to
stand in the middle of chaos and denounce the emperor's new clothes

i always get sad when that song plays
but happy at the same time
i always feel deep
hear deep
nap deep
live deep

i'm always lost

but i always wish
i always do
and when i say wish, i guess i just mean i've been wishing for 25 years- and change