when i couldn't find you i saved your words

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:05 PM - Mench. Repaying vanity with acts of kindness, my hollow is hollow. Wrong time. Right place. Giving and taking everything pushes me off balance. Burning from both ends, the tallow melts away leaving a flimsy piece of string. Two flames dangerously close. I hate feeling like this. Getting away with more than I deserve. And not. Two people. Both people. Living Gemini. This is retarded. 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Friday, February 24, 2006 3:40 AM - It's been a long road to get back here..... NewYork, NY Kalamazoo, MI Boston, MA Cincinnati, OH Chapel Hill, NC Greensboro, NC Erie, PA Hershey, PA Wilkes Barre, PA State College, PA Toledo, OH Columbus, OH Wilmington, DE Detroit MI, Fort Wayne, IN St. Louis, MO Green Bay, WI Rapid City, SD Indianapolis, IN Philadelphia, PA Washington, DC Syracuse, NY Buffalo, NY Rochester, NY Louisville,KY Atlanta, GA Augusta, GA Greenville, SC Stamford, CT New Orleans, LA Dallas, TX Phoenix, AZ Los Angeles, CA Mexico City, Mexico Denver, CO New York, NY Boston, MA JAPAN Tulsa, OK St. Louis, MO Dayton, OH Thousand Oaks, CA Pasadena, CA Salt Lake City, UT Reno, NV Tacoma, WA Witchita, KS Houston, TX Waterbury, CN Galveston, TX Omaha, NE Providence, RI Columbus, OH Ft. Lauderdale, FL San Francisco, CA Tampa, FL St. Paul, MN Baltimore, MD Grand Forks, ND Wilmington, DE Louisville, KY Amarillo, TX Lubbock, TX Austin, TX Corpus Christi, TX McAllen, TX Springfield, MO Rapid City, SD Evansville, IN Savannah, GA Sarasota, FL Appleton, WI Philadelphia, PA Wheeling, WV Portland, ME Lancaster, PA Stamford, CT Columbia, MO Hamilton, ONT Detroit, MI Orlando, FL Indianapolis, IN Raleigh, NC Edmonton, ALB 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 2:15 PM - Detroit. Detroit. Detroit. Detroit. Two cities, neither of which I see. Where did you go? That afternoon when everyone packed up and left your streets deserted. Your windows hollow. Heatless steam rising from dried up sewers. Your survivors fill my seats. Their applause bounces tinny off the peeling walls of a faded theater. When the lights come up what do they call home? Detroit, where are you? 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

12:54 AM - No more cigarettes. I quit twenty three days ago and was just fine up until last Wednesday, now it's really hard. What is it about cold depressing towns like Hamilton, Ontario and Detroit, MI that make me want to smoke? Discuss. Currently watching : The Philadelphia Story Release date: By 02 May, 2000 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, November 05, 2005 4:46 AM - Why am I still up? there's nothing waiting for me in dreams eyes kept open in the hopes of a message an image a call a voice to tell me i'm hallucinating there's nothing wrong that i don't actually feel this way but eyes keep returning to a circle of chapped skin where a ring used to be i want to cover it up. pretend. solace comes in song comfort in quarter time consolation in the bitterness of fools stuck in time keeping time everyone here has issues someone they lost along the way travelling together lonely all pass through the night hours alone in our cells finding sleep at sunrise finding peace 'till housekeeping knocks a reminder you are far far from home two more minutes it'll be okay two more minutes someone will wake up two more minutes someone will call two more minutes another song to remind you what's gone verse it's over verse let go verse can't chorus this hurts just stay with me for the night just so i can sleep just so i can sleep just so i can sleep 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Friday, November 04, 2005 3:43 AM - A Pirates Life For Me forty winks since last I've seen home el mirage she sails eighty mph. ladies of the evening sing a sirens' song in every saloon whiskey and beer dull the shine of the lone star dust collecting on my boots dig my heels into the sides of any thing I ride just want to feel some life between my legs pound the decks with a broom soot and smoke fill my lungs skin on my hands getting thicker bring me to port, there's a storm sea came up clouds rolled over ships been flipped capsized and drowning fuck you come any closer and I'll kill you water in my lungs feels just fine save yourself I'll sink with the boat.... ...it's just another journey mark the days on my arms a calendar in skin serving out my sentence at sea we waltz and sway stomp and sing the tide's gonna take me away away... "Sure I'll see shore. One of these days. And when I return, She'll have married a king Knowing that rowing, Will keep me on course. Sails full of wind, Could've carried the thing. No worry. No hurry, She needs you no more And getting there faster, Won't lessen the sting." rhymes and rhythm to keep from the life I'm missing the girl I'm missing the love I'm losing "Let my tears salt your glass Toast my pain, as you pass. I'll take my regrets To-go. With a passionate flourish Sing one final chorus Then drink up my love Yo-Ho!" 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, October 15, 2005 11:14 PM - Today is a good day. My insomnia is leading me to live in a present time. Inspiration abounds and I fill up. Able to take in the power and beauty of my youth. Lucky for the friends I have. The life I love. The notes come with ease today. Beats sitting between beats like they're in their favorite chair. All around me are these talented people wordlessly encouraging me to succumb to my self. Impossibly in love with the possibility of positively living out this love, I love, for the rest of my life. So slough off slumber for a few more seconds that'll bleed into hours like the sanguine stuff of my veins. Faithful to this new found delirium. Pie-eyed, prepare for the stage. Overwhelmed with the overture in my frontal lobe I am overjoyed, my time here, far from over. On the other side of dreams, I wake with a smile.

how can a dream come true if you can't dream it

oh how i miss the dream that never comes
some parallel universe that never orbits this way
where friends never die
where a dime is worth more than this measely pay
where vulnerability is harnessed and treasured
apathy is old and tired
doubt is fired and love cannot be measured by diamond rings
and confused with golden strings, fancy bling
but yet found in simple things like listening
paying attention very closely
to dreams you've never even dreamt
cause you're heart has already been spent over and over again
locked up in the den, swearing to never make the mistake to open it's gates again
and i'm trying to surrender to new faces
i'm trying to get closer to their touch
get used to it
but i can't
it's not for me
but neither were you
so no one
no one won, no one lost
but there is a dream
that never comes
but dreams are for dreamers
and i'll raise this child on my own
i'll hold up the fort with a welcome sign on the door
cause this is where i have to live
this is my life out of a dream
alone till the end, so it seems

reading sucks

i thought i could hug the world all at one time
kind of take your up
swallow your down
twirl you around in your favorite dress
hold up the mirror so you could take a good look
at all the shit and the ugly
the dirt and the grease
the fucked up stitching on your skirt that you're only now realizing
you probably got ripped off

take that favorite day when you were having a water fight with your cousin
and you tripped and fell, but it was okay cause your brother came by and got you off the ground
or that night when you were the rebound girl or that one morning after when you were still number one

that one fourth of july when you exploded on your ma screaming for independence for the first time in your life
that night you were punked by pops on a kitchen floor with a belt

or how fucked up it is to be born
with one ear
a limp
adopted
without a father
a deadbeat mom
abandoned
perfect
in every way

the day you first discovered music
like really really

you counting headlights on the highway
living a lie
living the truth
living

your daily regimen
the boring nothings of nothing really that important
your stupid empty dreams of becoming something so much greater

your dreams coming true

especially that one dream when you have to go to the bathroom so bad and then you wake up and go to the bathroom

that very moment when your dog got put to sleep and you witnessing life lifeless

that feeling of accomplishment after you organized your shoe collection
you finally got over your hangover
your depression
your void

that one trip you took and were surrounded by unfamiliar, parts of you questioned for the first time in your life
i wanted to know about that broken heart mended
that wounded muscle healed



i kinda wanted to hug all of this at one time
and then i kinda realized what impossibility felt like


until tard and feathered
so i was hoping we could all join in
and squeeze eachother through a mirror
a mirror that's reflection looks quite similar to you
that looks sorta like a journal
kinda like a zine

something to hold
put in your bag
remind you you're hugged
you matter
you count
you're unique
like everyone else

so if you took the time to read this
please consider reaching out your arms and hugging me through an email
a submission
a song
a photo
a drawing
a painting
a scratch of your life

volume 1 is well on its way
long beach
los angeles
san francisco
new york
maybe, in your hand

maybe you have no idea what i'm talking about
write me
i'll tell you


then...
you tell me


<3 lady basco

myspace.com/tardandfeathered

oh how i glisten

the truth is
i move this
this life this strife
this inbetween still
when my heart's ill i look to my head
to heal the sickness
find some kind of happiness

the truth is
i move this
this stuff, my bluffs
my tired mind and heavy feet
my shoulders keep my anchor
on my backbone
everything i own

the truth is
i move this
this letter making words
this prose painting worlds
this song to play
when i'm gone

the truth is
i move this
this body to music
thumping magic in my veins
my tears tamed by the bass
my face tickled by the treble

the truth is
i move this
this lip with this tongue
filling your lung with something better
i change the weather with your smile
i dial your number just to hear your voicemail

the truth is
i move this
everyday i miss
but i remember that kiss
on my cheek
on my lips
from a lover
from my mother

the truth is
i move this
these rocks and stones
rearranging poems on clouds
living out loud, oh how i glisten

the truth is
i move this
only cause you were there
to listen

the truth is
you move this

change for a dollar

always is a long time
so for everytime i say always
i really mean 25 years- and change

i always imagined we'd get married
live in a house
have mind blowing sex day in
day out
breakfast late night
dinner early morning

always imagined you entering me on a sidewalk
all drunk like
off of words
off of staring each other in the eye

i always imagined our children
so imperfect and cute
snuggle till they sleep
kiss their dreams

i'll scream when the sun rises
wake up the house
make love in a canopy
while the coffee is still brewing

i always imagined my toes dancing
so very close to yours

camping
you smacking my bug bites
us in the rain in a fight


always imagined they'd be proud of me one day
always thought they wanted to protect me in a way
but they never really did
and when i say never, i suppose i mean 25 years- and change

i always suspected i'd be some sort of artist
live amongst the workers
be amongst the humble
i always believed i heard things in halves
but always the better half
even if it was awfully sad

i'm always the first to get bit
to trip
to hurt
to fight
to speak
to shut the fuck up
stand in a corner with a dunce hat on when no one told me to
stand in the middle of chaos and denounce the emperor's new clothes

i always get sad when that song plays
but happy at the same time
i always feel deep
hear deep
nap deep
live deep

i'm always lost

but i always wish
i always do
and when i say wish, i guess i just mean i've been wishing for 25 years- and change

a place to cry

shut my eyes
want something better
shut my eyes forever
that's where i can cry

in a dream
you came and carried me
but you dropped me there too
you left me with the blues

what's the point
i missed it somewhere along the way
there's no safety net
it was fucked from the day we met

bang
bang
get out
bang
bang
i shout
bang
bang
i don't know what this is all about

i don't know you
married to faces i don't even know

round 25

not today


not this moment
look at her
really look
why
why born at all
they should have stopped at four
brown shards on the kitchen floor
one ear one tear
one girl
one world
no room for five
no room for this life

erase
erase
erase
not today
no good head space today

just smile and take another order
hit harder
hit me hard till i swell at the throat
tug me along as i float
then erase
erase
erase

fill your cup with someone else

cheap
second hand
left over
same shit, different face
know nothing about sustaining love
know nothing about love
at least not the way i know it
getting caught up in tangled webs

it's old
this is not me
i'm coming clean
gonna get rid of all these spiderwebs

you're bullshit

and that's not poetry
i'm typing with one finger i'm so over it

not mad
not sad
just-
aware
just-
done

you got what you wanted
i got what i needed

gotta go
gotta throw out the trash

how'd you get mixed in with the rest of my things?
ew
get out
yuck
yucky
you don't keep very well after the initial taste
always fonder in memory
but those are going to
they disgust me

cheap
false
fake
gross
all that love crap
with you?
it's a joke
you made a joke out of me
ew

<3<3
:):)
to your career... always
that's all that really mattered all along anyway
your music. support. always.
part of the soundtrack of my life.
love it. truly.
i'm a fan.
and that is very real.
very special.
you are in heavy rotation in my car.


you+me+blue hair and coffee and kiss and kangaroo and 23 and enter the hurt enter the heart and text after text after text and sex and song and poem song poem text kiss texttexttext... ew. yuckkkkkk. only when you're driving. when no one else is up to respond to you.

dude. i'm so much more.
geez. i disgust myself!


that was pathetic.
glad we got that one over and done with.


congratulations mikey! seriously.
with all the awesome wonderful amazing things you're going through.
FILL YOUR CUP YO!


that's it:)
i'll try to come to a show sometime when we're in the same city.
be good.
you know my number if you ever need a dose of me.



<3 that one girl who's always up
good night i'm sleepy


ps.. ALASKA

too tired for even you

the falling is always special
the touch
falling asleep nestled beneath your face
i blush
barely able to believe you and i
finding our place, our spot

a kiss only i felt, right?
a bit of magic made up
imposters stealing cups
but i'm taking it back
pouring you out
replacing you with this track

get the fuck out

hush

23 people to love
23 years to live
23 signs to see
23 lives to be
23 everywhere
23 dedicated to her
23 dedicated to me
23 why couldn't it just be me
23 kangaroos
23 day of july
23 why'd you have to be
so sweet
so neat
23 can't i get you out of my head
23 why couldn't it have been us instead


you're a little heartbreaker.
geez.
and i thought i was bad.
girls just falling into you all over the place.
the life of a rockstar.. oh boy.
well.
oh well.

live in the now, right?

hide

it's true
black curtain hang over my heart
it's true
waiting to touch
it's true
come close and tuck into me
it's true
say goodbye suddenly

you can't fix me
i can't fix you
this is no therapy session
so let's just get it on
haven't you learned your lesson yet?
i am the cursed blessing you get

it's true
broken hearts will never heal
it's true
i fucked him too
it's true
all your made up fantasies
i do
cater to your insecurities
don't you
want to marry me now
a perfect bride
right by your side
your law i abide
to stay inside
and hide

you can't fix me
i can't fix you
this is no therapy session
so let's just get it on
haven't you learned your lesson yet?
i am the cursed blessing you get

it's true
you're not the only man
it's true
i appreciate the company of dan
and stu
and whoever else may be
but just
cause i share loud smiles with them
does not
mean they've all had a taste of me

but you
convinced this heart betrays
so true
these black curtains drape
it's true
from you there's no escape