just another cigarette

just needed you to know i'm forgetting about you. as you wish. everyday. every song. in every text never sent. every unamazing kiss at a time.

i don't remember you at all. not halloween. not san diego. not a couch. no new york. no coffee shop in the valley when someone said they fell in love with someone and someone said it back. someone said the feelings won't change. and then feelings changed. no, i don't remember at all.

i don't remember red bull and rain. a blizzard and a walk. a hug.

i don't remember your face. your face between my legs. look up at me and smile. your face so close to mine.

i don't remember saying goodbye that day. the pain. the hurt. i don't remember pulling over cause something big happened. no i don't remember at all.

a text in a bathroom, you in the other room. fuck. and i drive away. nope. don't remember.

i don't remember you dressed up like a lost boy, ridiculous and beautiful. i don't remember anxiety hitting when the day begins and driving to la. i don't remember sunglasses.

don't remember a crowded street, out with the drags, you in the mist. only you in the mist of a parade of life. and we kiss. and all is there for you and me and it is the most perfect connection. nope. never saw it.

i don't remember you on my couch i brought from ny. another life. i don't remember singing creep. don't remember you calling and playing me you were always on my mind. because you are never on my mind. never.

i don't remember a great many things. not at all. never.

i never think about you. never ever. never wonder how you are. what you're doing. what you're up to. never wonder who you're fucking. who you're wasting your kisses on. if they're wasted at all. if you're making love in an rv. making love to vertigo. never worry if you're head thought has given you a break. never wonder if you ever got your piece of cake. if you've slept. if you're smiling. if you're happy. if you're celebrating. if it's all for the best this way. nope. never ever.

never wonder if i'll see us again. never ask why we met at all. don't care that i am just another person you had to meet along the way. don't pay any attention to my inadequacy to be enough for you. don't remember letting go. don't remember holding on. nope. never happened.


don't remember why you stopped. don't remember why you started. don't remember why i went. no reason at all i suppose.

just needed you to know i've forgotten about you. every day. every song. every cigarette. this one.