a letter from the clouds

...so it's been a minute
that's what happens when life takes you under it's wing


where to begin...
i couldn't begin to describe the intricacies of magic moments between poems and dance
lost kids coming home to their dad
making something out of nothing
making something out of seemingly epic fails

singing out loud on a stage you build to provide for other voices
yet somehow finding your own

getting angry
really angry at your blood
for seeing them for who they really are
then looking again and really seeing them for who they are
your blood

or this apartment
and all the tomorrows it holds
the shift of belief
in career
in money
in possibility

really jumping off the cliff with no net
and learning, really learning in genuine surprise
how to build my wings
saying, 'fuck the net,
i'm just gonna fly'

haiku:
these wings start to grow
along my anchored shoulders
rooted at my heart


love, love, love,
me

in the grind

turns out we really do attract exactly who we are

met this kid, somewhat recently, who seems to mirror my very heart



what the fuck does that mean?




well... in this moment, i truly don't have the time to explain
which in itself, proves my point exactly






i don't know...
some day when i'm looking back at these words,
i'll remeber
it'll make sense to me as it does in this moment

or not


i just know
i know
today
my heart is in tact

my tribe is clear
and for them, i would die
if need be
i would seize to exist


or rather, it is because of them, i choose to live
to keep going, to keep believing in all these silly dreams


i know a thing or two about a hard days work
and i also know about boundaries
these days magic moments are plenty
but not without the price of some genuine full-hearted effort




i still believe that pipe dream of building my little army
and i still faith on the man standing beside me while embarking that life-long endeavor
but meanwhile, i attract what i put out
and for the time being i am my priority
me and all the faces and dreams and hopes and better days i represent


and the funny thing is
he's doing the exact same thing



someday soon i will make that one guy my number one
and i'll be his
but for now, there's too much at stake

... like our own souls

heart rambles

here's the thing
i'm 3 decades young today
and i don't feel older
hell i don't feel younger

can't sort out this life thing


things i do know



i'm solid
my heart is in tact
i more than enjoy the company i keep
there's some kind of magic that surrounds me
and shit
i believe in it
and i'm blessed to be amongst it



my mind wonders
because i guess that's protocol when we reach certain ages
so vividly i remember snippets from last year... 4 years ago
16 years ago... 24 years ago
it's been a long full life yo
i can dig


but it ain't got nothin on my grandpa's before me



i hope i can live as courageously as the people who came before me
make them proud to have created me
make them proud that i exist


it's hard to believe
that we, good or bad, are the result of a yesterday's choice
we belong to those people who bred us, good or bad


i'm a lucky lady to come from the good stuff



in this moment i choose to be in unfamiliar
people who don't know me
not thoroughly
not the weight of this heart
nor the heavy this soul bears


but there's something beautiful in that lack of understanding
because it really doesn't matter



c'mon new year
bring on the best please
i've waited lifetimes
it's my tribe's turn this time
make it real
make it real
make it real
they deserve it

blessed

it's 2:08 am
i'm at grindhaus
on the phone with jetblue

this ain't poetry

just a not of where i am


listening to pandora ads in between 80's hits



and i say 'this too shall pass'
and cooly says 'this too shall grow'



at this juncture in my journey
all i can really say
is that i love
my life

very much

sea salt with pistachio truffle

...and so i check in
on track 2 he says 'i don't wanna fall in love'
'i don't wanna waste my time'

mr. two minutes more has hit his two minute limit
falling back on that one
i'm more than a way to ice cream
i am the ice cream

so last night...
i slept in the comforts of a hotel room
days are long
magic moments are epic
sharing pillows with strangers
opening my heart to new

not gonna lie, it burns a little
the sleepless nights
the endless sun
the roaring moon
the missing my eyelashes have for my cheeks
the longing my hand has for company

but i suppose there's a means to all this madness
fitting in glimpses of companionship in this living the dream stuff
guess i gotta trust the sweetness of this ice cream
and know that some day i won't have to share it with convenience
but maybe someone who really chooses to share it with me
and i choose to share it with them

but for now...
pillows with strangers will do
who knows, maybe someday he won't be a stranger ever again
even forever has to start somewhere

pants like a dress

i like coffee. hold the sugar, half and half will do.
take off the facade, i'm looking for you.
at you.
story. true.
i love holding hands.
turned leaves. hopes and dreams.
i like to just stand.
for anything. for everything.
i like when your eyes beam.

i like words.
rearranging them, paint a new world.
i'm that one girl.
i wear pants like a dress and twirl.
i'm in a band.
swahili blonde.
i'm a little sister.
last of 5 strong.
born with one ear.
save the tear.
i be tard.
i be feathered.
i be shards.
after a long winter.
you be my endless summer.
you be what gets me up in the mornin'.
that perfect cup o' joe.
mending me when i'm broken.
there you are, every time the wind blows.

i be rhyme.
you be light.
you be time.
i be mirror.
reflecting your shine.
there we are.
in every sign.

yep.
that one.
can't deny.
we be the sun.

do you a proper

currently i am tucked into my onesie pj's, let the dog out to chase the moon.
bundled under a duvet, i just got in from poeming where magic loomed.
its a fortunate occurrence to stumble upon spaces where we can reveal the stuff under our skin
recognize ourselves in another human being over and over again
--but i know you already know a thing or two about that
you crazy guitar-singing maniac


who are you?



... and like so many days and nights before
faithing and dancing through life's prolific doors
he was shredding his six string, she was counting her blessings
but who knew this particular door
on that specific mezzanine floor
would place them right smack in each other's world
where this canadian kid met this american girl
who knew it would be a tuesday
when she would come to the ballet