heart rambles

here's the thing
i'm 3 decades young today
and i don't feel older
hell i don't feel younger

can't sort out this life thing


things i do know



i'm solid
my heart is in tact
i more than enjoy the company i keep
there's some kind of magic that surrounds me
and shit
i believe in it
and i'm blessed to be amongst it



my mind wonders
because i guess that's protocol when we reach certain ages
so vividly i remember snippets from last year... 4 years ago
16 years ago... 24 years ago
it's been a long full life yo
i can dig


but it ain't got nothin on my grandpa's before me



i hope i can live as courageously as the people who came before me
make them proud to have created me
make them proud that i exist


it's hard to believe
that we, good or bad, are the result of a yesterday's choice
we belong to those people who bred us, good or bad


i'm a lucky lady to come from the good stuff



in this moment i choose to be in unfamiliar
people who don't know me
not thoroughly
not the weight of this heart
nor the heavy this soul bears


but there's something beautiful in that lack of understanding
because it really doesn't matter



c'mon new year
bring on the best please
i've waited lifetimes
it's my tribe's turn this time
make it real
make it real
make it real
they deserve it