purple cows @ work

Everybody has a button to unlock their cars now
And I believe Charlie is dead
Never knew a cow could be purple
Still trying to pay for the butter for my bread


Probably wondering what to say next
Drowning in the pudding, you are
Rolling side to side in your office chair
Reaching out for another chocolate bar


((I know, I know. What the fuck))


Eyelids get heavy when they’re bored
Mundane computer keys
Talking ‘bout vacuums and hitch and hauls
Bout warranties and broken rotisseries


Gotta upsell the consumer
Fill their house with more shit they don’t need
Cross sell their soul
Hey while you’re purchasing that indoor smoker
How would you like a cherry red Waechtersbach bowl?
Perhaps one with a lip?
It may give you a tip to STOP BUYING SHIT you don’t need
Did you see the new dyson? The DC15?
Well it’s shaped like a ball so you don’t have to adjust your body at all
Like you don’t have to adjust your body when you watch t.v. Just grab the remote!
Or maybe you have Tivo so you don’t have to adjust your schedule to watch your favorite show!


Just another silly way to avoid going outside and meeting the sun
Like work is a good excuse to stay in a cubicle and kiss your dreams goodbye
Shriveling your spirit dry
Shoving you to the wee hours of night just to look for a smile
A good laugh with a friend or two
The things we do just for a moment of utter truth


Just to be a purple cow
Always looking for Charlie, that little dog that got away
Yeah, that sign’s been up for months now. Umm. I think Charlie is dead
Here’s $500 big ones if you find her it reads
All I got is my gratitude if you can find my ma’s piece of mind
My pop’s pride
My little poem
My brothers
This signs been up for a few years now
Sorry, I think I got Charlie beat


But I don’t suppose that’s why you called
(As my stomach stirs to find the words) So you want a rotisserie
4 payment plan sir?
Would you like a solid food injector with that ma’am?
Yeah, they’re amazing! You can inject garlic, tomatoes even spam!


Woohoo to another hard day’s work
Look out bread you will definitely be getting some butter tonight!
Looking forward to that button on my key chain
So off I can float away away a w a y like a kite…


What you didn’t know purple cows could fly?
Well they do, you just can’t find them on the PFS website