courage

it all happens so quickly
but not quick enough
i find myself editting before i even finish a line
but that's not me
i've opted to look down at these keys
while i imprint my ache on this page

what is here
so much
there is so much

trembling now because sometimes the words don't tell enough
the song can't bring it enough
the heart is incapable of enough beats to beat into my head that it is okay to let go


enough with enough
the inadequacies of life can have you spinning till you are drowning gasping for air
but its there, just breathe

there is fucking air for the whole lot of us
but we deny ourselves, we consistantly choose suffocation
how comfortable
like a cozy lazboy that you can't figure out how to sit up in again so there you lay
always looking up, can't see a damn thing in front of you, losing track of the time of day
just get the fuck up

breathe

breathe in all the pain and anxiety
the nervous giddies and the eruptions
laugh your brains out
and when you give someone a hug
do it with the photos of that person's soul wrapped around both arms
when you meet someone give them a hand shake of a thousand more hellos to come
because who the fuck knows?

all these people are witnesses to your life
you are a witness to theirs
how can that be invalidated, dismissed?
we are made to fuck and feel and fight get bloody ugly
and forgive be humbled
then feel again


breaking down these words in my head, my shoulders go limp and my eyelids drop deeper
into my gut of anticipation for sleep, for road trips, for travel, for being here
right here, taking it all in and feeling it all come so quickly

and letting it all go