you can't forget when it's right in front of you

it is thanksgiving again
and i find myself looking into mirrors
through old love notes
passed affections
time spent and a life lived thus far


some words
and their damn combinations
makes the heart wrench a little bit
some of those picture shows
seem like a blink away
when in fact..
they are days of the past


i remember those toes
so very close to mine
us sharing ny air
san diego skylines
english croissants


i did want it to be forever
i really did

but forever was not on our time card
but that it happened at all right?
that it happened at all


man..
oh man
i know i'm a wierdo
and am undeserving of all the love that has and continues to flow in and out of me
but at the very least
the very tiniest
i can be grateful


bless you
bless us
bless your mother and mine
i miss you
and all those forever days
and some nights,
like this one
when we are far far far away from each other
almost like another planet away
i take out these mirrors
to give myself a squeeze
to remind me
how we held each other
that one day
so long long ago

text

you want me to write
you want me to truth
you want me tell
how i feel
how i peel
what's the deal
how i'm undone
by the way you
stand sometimes
just behind me
i can feel you breathe
you want to know about
butterflies
and texts
spitting future mid air
into the wee hours of night
swapping stories between my legs
holding your heart in my palm
moving just right
just to feel you that much more
to somehow hug your core
and hope that i'm enough
to support that back bone of yours
and all those dreams on the tip of you nose
those concepts running down your tongue
looking for a space to just be
let it be me--
but instead
what rolled off
was not me
and i am reminded
i am number three
another girl
in your world

so i'll pick up my things now
pack up these sweet nothings
wish you the best now
you can erase all these writings
you want me to truth
you want me to tell
how i feel
how i peel
what's the deal

you heal
me

on my way out

my fingertips freeze in pregnant thought
afraid of what will become of it's combination of letters
all i'm saying
is that i don't know where to start

so let's start where things usually start and end--
love

so quickly he arrives
and the other goes
with such speed we love dive
and throw our heavy blows

didn't you know that forever is over
didn't you know i would leave someday
didn't you know we were never that clever
didn't you know,
you are in me forever

what sense does it make
none i know
none i say
none i play

bat bat my eyelash
slash slash my heart
say my name
call me kris
say my name
call me kiss

cook me dinner
stamp me a sinner
it's your world
i'm just that one girl

who once had your heart
a long long time ago
a few few months ago
last night
but one day at a time
i fade
i fade
i fade


but you stay
you stay
you stay


you fucking stay
stay
stay
forever