ondoy revised

and the water that day
it flooded my street
saturated my town
swallowed my light
till all i could see was this intangible liquid
this unrelenting storm
and everything around me lost it's form

and the water that day
took all that i built
the symbols
that made me worth something
anything

and the water that day
i only asked for a little
enough to nurture my green
replenish my thirst
didn't ask to be submersed
but i can't control the water
all or nothing says the water

so it came and it soaked
it shook and it took
the stores that clothed me
the food that fed me
the corner shop that laughed with me
the movie house i went to to getaway
to get by
i wish i was a bird
i could fly fly away
and i wouldn't have to rely on these man made buildings
this economic geographic plan
i wouldn't have to stand in the middle of ruins
pay for mother nature's actions
i could just fly
just i and i

but what good would it do
just i as a bird
flying high above all the people that grew me
my soul's memories
running on dirt roads
high roads
the thrill of the city
the pollution and traffic
i would be homesick

flying high above it all
i and i watching it all fall

so the water that day
stole away my house
stole away my love
drenched my blouse
bruised my bones
left me with a dilapidated home

but the water that day
did not take these fingertips
the water that day
cannot take away this heart

so thank you dear water
for your unexpected visit
rain on me my fare weathered friend
but you do not reign this spirit
you do not reign this hope
so to you, dear water, i shall float

ondoy

and the water that day
it flooded my street
saturated my town
swallowed my light
till all i could see was this intangible liquid
this unrelenting storm
and everything around me lost it's form

and the water that day
took all that i built
the symbols
that made me worth something
anything

and the water that day
i only asked for a little
enough to nurture my green
replenish my thirst
but i can't control the water
all or nothing says the water

so the water that day
stole away my house
stole away my love
drenched my blouse
bruised my bones
left me with a dilapidated home

but the water that day
did not take these fingertips
the water that day
cannot take away this heart

so thank you dear water
for your unexpected visit
rain on me my fare weathered friend
but you do not reign this spirit
you do not reign this hope
so to you, dear water, i shall float

sunday

i sit in a place in between songs
cross- legged and obedient
bare foot and bare souled
fighting to save comfort
fighting to save myself

the lies swallowed me up
who knew it would be
somewhere in my deepest, i did
the perfect sabotage for a damaged spirit

and even in the end you have to control
not for yourself, but for me
but you don't get to do that


you're an idiot
i'm sitting here trying to be poetic, metaphorical
don't think, see
but all i see is a broken man
a man who measures his wealth and love by what he can provide
with money
with suffocating
with overwhelming
with false promises
lies
lies
lies

i knew someone like that once
she loved to cut off our feet
and expect us to walk

you remind me of her
one of the darkest parts of my life
and you
you are now a darkness in my life
and like her once upon a time
you don't even get it

i don't even want to be with this man forever
and he is telling me what i should do
yet i am doing what i think is best for him


it's sunday
oh holy day

for the wealthy

by being with you i'm learning who i'm not
i'm remembering all that i am now
and learning to receive
i am not your project
and i am not your experiment
nor your investment
or housewife

i will not jump when you say jump
or write when you say write
i will not wash or cook when you decide you're hungry
i will no longer be hurt by you
demeaned by you
you may not take my wings
you may not pull my strings

i will receive love
i will only receive love
a wealth of love

note to self

when a man loves a woman
great song

for turlz

receive she says
receive


i woke up this morning with the thought
what can i receive today


it's funny, we get so caught up in giving
it's true
too true
give all i got, give all i got
and in all that give i had forgotten how to receive
to surrender
to be open


i say i forgot, because although i didn't know it then
nor use this particular word
at one point in my life i did receive


i was a beginner
innocent
i was a beginner who had already lived...
but i let that go and received




and then time
oh time that trusty friend
time came and happened and fought with me
and screamed at me and cried with me
and laughed at me
with me, sometimes
and sometimes hurt me
and sometimes loved me



so in response to this ever changing ever steady time
i put up walls
things went out
and nothing came in

i see this now
so clear
so poignant


so receive
yes arianna receive
and breathe
deep


the deeper the intake
the greater the give



so thank you for your give
your gift
your blessings
and your belief


a mobius i hope
a mobius dear friend

tennis

red palms makes a girl stand back
stand aside
subside
hold on tight to the racket
get your feet in the right position
let that sun beam down and burn all those doubts
let the shade bring down that body temperature
let the movement be the cure
listen not to those silent voices
all those lack of choices
and just play the game

glide through and follow through
you can do it
you can do it
serve the truth without speaking
serve for yourself within the perimeters
never expect a return
just run accordingly
be prepared
and drink water
lots of water



then feel your heartbeat
race
racing with your own life
set a new pace for yourself
a new game
a new hope



because the game will change
that is the only promise
win or lose
it will change