fenix rise

Eyelashes beckon for these cheeks

So close but still out of reach

My belly swells with all your bones

My body built to be your home

Fenix rise

These scars, your sister left for you

These bars, your father’s getting through

Second-hand stretch marks are the proof

Your mama built this map for you

Across the dome under this skin

Behind the ear without a drum

Inside the clicking of this jaw

Between these wrists that go numb

Fenix rise

There is a route to walk upon

And if you get lost be assured

Use your heart as your compass

And when in doubt be of service

Because the folks along the way

I placed them there for you to play

And cry and rage and make a mess

Make love and build a brand new day

...and they grew

[in regards to: sunflowers]

when i wrote this poem there was no melody it was just words to mark a break up a future that would be forever changed my sweet trust.

and then came a garage band beat and the rediscovery of my voice this idea that these words needed to be sung and maybe my voice my voice could sing them.

and then happened western ave my english boyfriend a magical musician that stuck me in a makeshift sound booth in our vintage closet and built the music around this melody and he, himself, inspired one evening while i was watching 'cat on a hot tin roof' decided to include, faintly, some of the dialogue from one of the scenes neither of us knowing that i was, in fact, a cat on a hot tin roof.

and then came a pregnancy. my first child. with a wounded heart from san francisco. in retrospect, we had no business being with each other. aside from the passion, the awakening of spirits, connection-- just long enough to plant a seed. a seed that would prove to be the greatest creation of my life. but meanwhile-- he left and i was pregnant and this song became a narrative for yet another ending.

my family up north, in addition to my LA baby shower, decided to throw one for me in our family home. a home that witnessed me and sweet trust grow up saw me through western ave showed that wounded san francisco heart what love looked like... that home that we no longer have a key for. and now this poem turned melody turned song turned video makes my heart weep again. for all the beautiful memories. that lead to the futures that no longer exist.

sunflowers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjR9Hp9306M&index=19&list=UUUPqoifg-mAokj5t3MN1Hlw