a lady's worth

this is not a poem for the masses.

just a poem for my niece.
the way she looks at me when i enter the room,
the way she wants to dress just like me.
i swear-- whenever i come over the first thing she says is:
auntie nana can i dress like you?
and then we go through her closet
and we find all the similiars
from high boots to big clips and then she says:
see, we're twins

this is not a poem for the masses.

this one's for my ma.
see i was born with one ear.
for that, i always felt left out.
see i was born the youngest after 4 boys.
for that, i was always left out.
see i was born filipino.
a culture that's most sustainable attribute, is adaptation.
often leaving me feeling kinda left out.
but for all this-- my mother-- my mother always made me feel
like i belonged.
like i was the most precious gift.
like a miracle.

this not a poem for the masses.

this one's for that one guy.
he made me feel common.

i heard once:
a woman goes to bed with a man to show him how she loves.
a man shows love to get a woman into bed.

i don't wanna give too much power to the ideologies between the male and female.
most of the time, i think its bullshit anyway.
but because they do exist.
the male.
the female.
the ego.
my mother.
my niece.
that quote.

i have decided to remove myself from that equation all together.
because if i was to be truly grateful to my mother.
if i were to really honor my niece and all her tomorrows.
then i would understand that no one can make me feel common without my permission.
and some where in my ego i thought i could be that girl--
fun, casual sex, no big deal, i can get down with the best of 'em.

it's true i can.
and i do.
and will continue to.
as i decide to stop sleeping with you.
or you. or you.

if my niece and i are truly twins.
i gotta pave the right way.
the way my mother set out for me.

this is not a poem for the masses.
just a poem about a lady learning her worth.