one way street

true story
i'm an intense little lady
my mind, like yours, don't stop
i may not be as vocal about it all the time
not for fear's sake, just a little protected
i got a lot at stake
like my family
my friends
the life i've built
the faces that fill it
the poems on my lips
the rotations in my hips
the taste of my skin
the ache in these limbs
save that pretty in an almond
hold on to the drive to mulholland
montana boy meets la lady dreamer
yeah, in my coffee give me a little more creamer
wanna kiss your wounds
run my fingertips the length of your backbone
lay your head on my chest, show you a little bit of home
fill that belly with love
hold your face in my palms and quite the noise
your hand on my thigh like you had no choice
wanted hope to run dry because we're living the dream
so verbose these two suns joined together at the seams
this king and this queen
building something out nothing
making meals to feed our tribe
an equal human to stand beside
scream at the moon with me on the way back from the hot springs
never happened, and so it is, silly daydreams

and beyond the fantasies, between you filling up this cavity
love's full capacity, we come back to reality
and some where in me, when i look at you i see
we can set each other free
and be
but so much is at stake
need some one to trust
this heart is not to take and break
looking for the one to build with and make
rainbows on rainy days
love, not by convenience
love because 'we' are the only way

i am needle
i am thread
a morning thankful
your every night bed
the pillow for your heavy head
the win win in all the cool
but i refuse to be love's fool

keeping it real

to be honest

life is good
you know it is
we know it is
moving forward is quite the task
new faces
old faces
forever faces

... but still
always
honesty

gotta stay true
gotta say goodbye
and hello
simultaneously
what a juggle
and here i go
jiggling out
gotta squirm in the uncomfortable
right through to the other side
see things
have the courage to see things
for what they really are

you are a really rad guy
super duper
just bad timing

songs of freedom

redemption song plays in another language
not what i expected, but it still does the trick
kinda like life...
not always what you suspect
but yet has its way of being exactly what you were asking for

still hurts
still joys
but guess that's the life of the pendulum
the life outside of mediocrity
to not just merely exist
but to truly live

tic toc in stock

timing is a bitch that needs to be stroked sometimes
even when its in a bad mood, gotta pet it just right
gotta make it purr for you, change its mind
stubborn little fuck

either way, bad timing will be bad timing
but if you hold it with care
you save the risk of it back firing on you and ripping you a new asshole
gotta dodge the bullets from time to time
make love to the idea of 'if only'
and then let it go
let the minutes do its job
the hours pass and take away your longing
let the days without serve you and cradle you
that's bad timing blues

gotta have faith
someday it'll all match up
because the truth is
everything was meant to be
every single moment
in that, i believe

so here i am
faithing on brighter suns
full lungs
melodies never sung
your taste lingering on my tongue
skin on skin got me strung
make me feel young

roll out another sky
i'll have time bite by bite
by and by
i am time

it happened one night

the air was thick with his past and his unrequited future
her sister came and so did her entourage
the room filled with the curator's life, family, work friends, and artists

he stopped her to say 'hey'
suddenly the world stood still
he opened his arms
she couldn't help but lean in
small talk, big talk
trying to avoid his eyes
trying not to give too much
she could feel his lashes pointing towards her
studying her every move, her every blink
hanging on to words they've deprived themselves from
keeping a pact

he asked her if she saw the light at the end of the tunnel
she said she sees a light
some sort of glimmer

earlier that day she had an interview
the question was asked, 'what are your aspirations, who do you aspire to be'
she received the question and answered the only way she knew how, with a smile
'i am who i want to be. i'm doing exactly what i aspire to do. i'm just looking to get paid for it.'

and he, well he sits upon rocks near water, or in front of a computer screen, or over an open journal
abiding by a pact, scratching lines down, riding the highs and the lows
looking to movies for a hug, live shows for a thrill

meanwhile she works on movies and is a live show
singing her way through life, dancing in forbidden sheets
and she wonders if that forever face has turned on that dormant camera
if he's decided yet that he's worth it, that the world waits for his vision
and that she is in the front row rooting for him

she kinda cried last night on a stoop in her sister's arms
kinda, yeah. a little bit.
she could never in front of him, that would just be silly
and her friends, well... she won't lose face in front of them
but in the company of a cigarette under a moon that catches her at just the right angle
yeah, there, in that moment, a stream of moisture runs over her cheeks down her chin and falls on concrete like rain

it was like watching the sun cry

scion pimpin with trol

'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'

maybe.
but we call bullshit.
fine. it happened.
never again.
had our fix for this lifetime.

at the end of the day.
we ain't gonna be nobody's bitch.

dimmed shine

of all the things i could have written about tonight...
silly wasted thoughts on something broken
no no no no no
in this moment i choose to be open

the ladies sang tonight
and my western avenue accompanied them both
affinities rise with these familiar faces
i can dig it
even the rectangle's company strikes my fancy

its a good feeling
to be pulled out of your skin with song
to be moved
to connect

may i always be blessed
may i never stop feeling
if in life, so be it
the walls behind this heart begin to stack, it's a true story
i fear to love that way again ever
but at least for the duration of this set, this song, this held out note
at least in that moment
let there be light through the cracks of that wall

and the boxing gloves return

i don't even know what to say

its like the wind getting knocked out of me
my heart dropping to my knees
bruised on my chest from my chin hittin it so many times
trying to remember the truth in all your lines
some truth in all the lies

there is something unsmart about all this madness
i know there were words exchanged about having no regrets
and i won't
because it was a pact
but its some hard empty pockets of time fighting the urge
the question of, why did we have to go that far
it was stupid to start
so stupid
and then end so abruptly
i know i'm not crazy
i wasn't the only one there
or maybe i was
indeed, perhaps i was

either way, what i do know is
that i'm the only one still here

its ok
what was that mantra i had?
that's right
i'm tough
bring it

flickers

everytime i use the second bathroom in my house i always think of you
how our hands met over screen windows that night you were saying goodbye
that very pure moment between you and i
oh so long ago
we were just kids... but i remember the warmth of your hand like it was yesterday

my feet are cold tonight
makes me think of that one kangaroo i once knew
you sat on my feet once upon a time on that couch in san diego
we talked about big things, big music, tomorrow days for you and your band

i think about how this evening just unfolded for me and this new rectangle
i just rode the wave, experiencing whatever might come next
i'm no fortune teller
no psychic friend
just a listener
company to all the new rhythms
just a dancer in this epic song

pirouettes during nightmare and the cat as sweet trust and i take pictures of each other
and my western ave has returned from the other side of the pond
they look good
like something of yesterdays
realities i once lived
on some other cloud on another rainy day

the rectangle talks about his magic kids, his super hero abilities
we shoot the shit over snap bracelets and jamesons
we talk divorce and finding a way to breathe anyway
death, birth, marriage, and divorce
those are something of majorness we surmised
it was stuff of human connection
so yearned for it after my last episode

yeah life is good
life is grand
serving up eggs and bacon
just how i like it, with sourdough toast on the side
hashbrowns extra crispy
and with the ketchup
i still paint that forever face and his little scars that sit upon his smile
gots to
i'm no liar
he still shines

this feathered ring

because i made a pact
we made the vows that night we said goodbye
and i am sworn to them by honor
my word is my virtue
this heart is a face filled behemoth of present and past
futures that last
so here goes some words i release to the ethers
because i'm not a liar
and i don't break promises
never ever

a new mole appeared on my face and a new ring on my finger
makes the catching of the bouquet have some reason
super excited about tomorrows
on the brink of enormous change
the unknown is a wild place to reside in
but i'm digging it

just following the light
what else is a girl to do?
show yourself
i'm right here
bring it